When they said lockdown in March of 2020, apparently I thought it applied to everything. My last post was from April 2020 and from the sounds of it, I was somewhat optimistic. At least about the idea that I could find something positive in the whole mess and make some headway with my WIP.
It appears my mind shut down to many things right after that, including this blog.
The last three years have been... well you all know how it's been. I don't have to tell you the world is heavy, the effort it can take to get through a day, and the way every single one of us has been affected by everything.
One of my favorite things in this world has always been writing. Hours spent at a coffee shop disappearing into another world and making up characters were my thing. It was such an escape. I don't know what happened but in the last year, it wasn't enough of an escape if that makes sense? Nothing was honestly. I couldn't get into tv shows or movies and it took me forever to finish reading a book. It was a restlessness that was exhausting. Add to that eight hours a day spent in front of a computer for work. Sitting back down to a computer at night made my brain hurt. I actually considered giving up on writing. The publishing world has become more difficult (if that's possible). Friends who've had success and are extremely talented have struggled. What does that say?
So I didn't write. I put everything aside and just tried to finish reading a book. I listened to podcasts, went for walks, and tried to pull myself out of things. Summer came and we spent weekends camping where there was no internet, tv, or many people. I dragged the computer with me and somehow I actually wrote a couple of pages here and there. I read a few more books and took more walks. And one day I grabbed a notebook and wrote page after page of notes on my WIP that I hope will make it better. Then last weekend I actually found myself in a coffee shop and I... wrote. Even when a couple of hours passed and I would normally want to pack up, my mind wanted to keep going.
So what changed? The only thing I can point to is books. Reading someone else's work and finding the perfect line, a paragraph that you want to highlight, or a quote you save as a future tattoo idea, made me realize how much I still want and need this in my life. The people who weave poetry and pictures with words are my people. I don't want to lose that. Even if my words never make it into a book they will still make it into the world. For now, that will be enough...
What I've been reading:
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry - Gabrielle Zevin
Built to Last - Erin Hahn
Not Good for Maidens - Tori Bovalino
Gallant - V.E. Schwab
What I've been listening to:
Taylor Swift - Midnight Albums (ALL OF IT)
Brandi Carlile - In These Silent Days album
Barenaked Ladies - Detour de Force album
What I've been watching:
Murders In the Building - Season 2
Never Have I Ever - Season 3
Hocus Pocus 2 (It's the Season!)
What's inspiring you?