Sunday, March 11, 2018

One Day at a Time.....

Yes, it’s been that long. 

It’s been that long since I’ve written anything, let alone a blog post. That saying, “life can change in an instant?” It happened for me the first week of the New Year. It began with both of my parent’s in the same week, being diagnosed with cancer. My mother’s was caught early, my father’s too late.

The following week I turned 43. Notice I didn’t say celebrate. I couldn’t find a single thing to celebrate this year. From that point on everything narrowed itself down to the smallest fragments; going to work, and emailing/texting/calling family. It moved from there to hospitals and oncology consultations, followed by social workers and hospice. There was nothing else. No socializing, no exercising, no reading, and not a single word written, other than the aforementioned emails and texts. The only television I could manage was binge watching Stranger Things. Bizarre I know, but nothing else could hold my attention, or in the very least, not cause me to start crying.|

45 days

45 days from the initial tumor being found, my father passed away. It was peaceful, at home, with family and friends. And it was shocking. I’m still not quite sure how these last few months took place. I have no idea how we all kept on moving, eating, talking, and breathing, while simultaneously being in shock. But we did. We did it because life keeps moving and happening, whether you’re participating or not. My mom and I adopted a motto that first week. “One day at a time.” We tried to keep focus on that. Sometimes it changed to one minute at a time, but it helped keep us from spiraling somewhere into darkness. We’re still in that one day at a time mode, but sometimes we let ourselves look a little ahead. We hope for summer, we talk of vacations, a new home for my mom, and the routine of daily life.

My mom is stage one, and we’re hopeful the cancer will remain at bay for many years. But, the last few months have taught us that time is so ridiculously short, and 45 days can pass in the blink of an eye. Our goal is to find some happiness now in that day to day life. I wish that for all of us; that we can stay in the present and find the good in our days.

Part of my happiness is to find a way back to my writing, and my book. 

Posting this will be step one. One day at a time, one minute at a time.

Here we go…..

~ Adrienne