I'd like to be positive and gushy and be able to tell you that it was full of wonderful experiences. I want to say that I achieved my goals of finishing my book, losing (and keeping lost) 20lbs, and finding a way to become independently wealthy. In addition to all of that I'd like to say I was able to perfectly balance all of my relationships (hubby, family, friends, etc.)
The reality of things is that I can't be gushy and positive.....what I can be is real.
The truth is I did a lot of writing, but not enough and my "book" is far from being a book.
The truth is that I did lose some weight, but then life came knocking and my balance of exercise, eating right, sitting all day at my job, and sitting to write collided.....in a make a big mess kind of way. So while the weight did go down, I'm still not happy with where it has ended up.
The truth is that our attempt to be independently wealthy will probably never materialize (you have to buy a Mega Millions ticket to win), but at this point being able to pay my bills and have some money in the bank is all I can ask for.
The truth is that I saw/connected with some people more than others, some people not at all, and there were days I felt like the worst friend, daughter, sister, wife, etc. in the world....
Something I did "accomplish" this year that was never, ever a goal of mine (nor should it be for anyone else) was becoming close friends with so many health care professionals. (Don't take that the wrong way - I love health care professionals and all they do for us....I just didn't want them to have to do so much for....me.) The ongoing issue with my eye flared up again this month, requiring a couple of more visits to the doctor. We've moved into a "let's try this technique" and a "wait and see" situation. All of them require A LOT of drops and ointments and crossing our fingers.
The other health issue was an old back injury that reared its head in the fall and has lingered on like a house guest over staying its welcome. The chiropractor has become my new friend and sitting for long hours has become my new enemy.
Last, who could forget the coffee cup incident that resulted in a 2nd degree burn, a trip to the emergency room and a couple of weeks of follow up visits as well. Enough with the medical people already! (Really I do love all of you......)
I remember someone telling me once that after they passed 35 the number of health issues they faced seemed to pick up speed, like a ball rolling down a hill. I'm beginning to see what they mean....in the fact that some days I feel as though someone rolled me down a hill. I'm someone who has been very lucky to have had relatively good health most of my life. No broken bones, major surgeries, or illnesses (knock on wood), so I have to admit this year has thrown me for a loop. The hardest part has been the fact that both the back and eye issues have affected writing so much. When my eye is bothering me any extra strain is too much. When my back is bothering me after sitting at work all day, the last thing I can do is make myself sit down and write some more. Needless to say it's been a little depressing.
Okay, enough with the pity party though (health wise I really am so lucky) - basically what I mean to say is that I need to make some adjustments to things. I can't control what happens with the eye issue, but I can (hopefully) make the back issue better. What that will entail is even less time sitting and writing. I'm taking a trip today to reinstate (blow the dust off of) my gym membership. I've determined that I don't have the discipline to make myself walk/run/bike hard enough on my own. I need that instructor in the front of the class telling me to pedal faster and work harder.
More than anything I need to realize that some things are out of my control.Sometimes you have to trust that there is someone who knows more than you do; someone who may have a different path for us to walk down....one that may not be as straight as we'd like it to be.
Here's to 2013.....may it be a better year for all.....and may the path take us to where we need to be.