My explanation for how I got here goes further back. It goes back to high school and college, to when you're trying your hardest to figure things out. You're trying so hard to fit in and be like everyone else that you forget to just be you. In turn you don't really know you. You have no idea what you really like or don't like, but you know exactly what you should like in order to fit in. You probably have no idea what you're good at. Even if you have a small idea of what you like, that doesn't always translate into using that to find your career path. If you are one of the few who knew at five years old that you wanted to be a doctor, or a teacher, please consider how blessed you are. Having your career calling that early on can take a lot of the pressure off. That was not me. I may have known early on that I loved reading and writing, but I didn't have the overwhelming sense of self that said, hey you should see where you can go with this writing thing. What I do have (that seems to contradict the creative side) is an overwhelming need to do the sensible thing, the responsible thing. That is how I have ended up here, knowing far more about Excel than I should.
Now, quitting and running away from it all would be as opposite of sensible as one could get. The sensible, responsible side of me will never allow that....unless of course lottery winnings are involved....
Anyway....what I can do, and am doing, is to use my free time to pursue this interest and see where it takes me. Another step I'm taking is working to learn more about myself.
What works for me? (Good stretches of alone time. Time to work through the words, stories, and plots in my head.)
What doesn't work for me? (Talking on the phone. Crazy right? I believe that I used up any phone talking gene that I had in my teenage years. Talking on the phone now is stressing and exhausting. I would much rather prefer a good face to face chat; email and texting being very close runner ups. Sorry Mom and Dad. I know I monopolized the phone then, but you can so have it back now.)
What else have I learned?
- Politics make me crazy. Both sides/parties are out of control.
- Some days I like animals more than I like people.
- A good night sleep is so underrated.
- There are times though when I'll sacrifice it for a greater good. I went to the drive in with two of my best friends last week to see Grease. The movie didn't start until 9:45 and it was almost 1:00am before I made it to bed, but surprisingly I didn't feel tired. It had been so long since we'd hung out, just the three of us and it was so needed.
- There isn't much that dark chocolate can't cure.
- Clutter stresses me out. Seriously, the show Hoarders, our junk drawer, and my basement, all give me the heebie jeebies.
- The older I get the less tolerance I have for negativity, griping, complaining, etc...The world is tough enough without feeding into the darkness.
- I love anything that speaks of a season; food, events, and rituals that say this is summer. Just this weekend there was jet skiing, a little sun time spent catching up with some family, a bonfire, and fireworks that we watched with good friends. We indulged in fresh picked strawberries, watermelon, burgers, and ice cream and I loved every minute of it.
- I zone out a lot in large groups. My fascination with observation has a mind of its own. Don't panic if I do it while talking to you....I'll find my way back.
All of this makes me think of the high school seniors who have just graduated in the last few weeks. Do they have any idea who they really are, or what they truly want to do? I hope so. I sincerely hope they're focused more on being true to who they are, rather than wasting their energy on trying to be like everyone else.
And what about you my friend? Do you know who you are? It's not too late to find out.
Love, love your post, really interesting and informative. I share a of your likes and dislikes.ReplyDelete
I find that I just don't 'enjoy' being creative, I 'have' to be creative.
I like to think we are all a work in progress. As long as we are progressing.ReplyDelete
Love this! I remember being in high school and just wanting to fit in, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. I now use this to allow my kids to be whatever they want. I just want them to be happy, and to live their lives in a way that makes them feel whole. My son always says he wants to be a doctor, pilot or a train conductor:)I know they are all young, but I say be whatever you want, don't just do it for money, do it because you love it. If you don't love it, getting out of bed and going to work everyday will not be easy..ReplyDelete
@ Opinions - I thought you would agree. I hope you keep finding the time to be creative. :)ReplyDelete
@ B - I agree, and hopefully once someone has a clearer sense of who they are, the progressing will go even faster. :)ReplyDelete
@ Dodie - I so wish there was a magic trick for getting that message out to kids in school. The energy and stress required to fit in is just ridiculous. If they could see that they would be so much happier in the long run. It would have made things so much easier for me that's for sure. Your kids are very luck to have you encouraging them that way. :)ReplyDelete