Visualize....

The funny thing about all my research on minimalism, decluttering, morning rituals – all the articles I’ve found have led me to other topics for self-care/improvement. I feel like I’m becoming a new age, granoley person (which is not a bad thing at all.) I love granola….and Pinterest…but I digress.

One of the ideas that popped up frequently was that of positive thinking, which in turn leads to the idea of visualizing. Visualizing the life I would like to have, the positive outcomes I am hoping for, and generally believing that the universe wants nothing more than to give me everything I’m wishing for. There are a TON of articles out there on the subject and I’ve only read a small amount, but the idea is very intriguing. My best friend’s mother loved telling us to visualize. “You have to picture what you want and then you send it out to the universe,” she would say. She was also a fan of driving around packed parking lots saying “who’s saving my spot?” And every time a spot would open, and not just any spot. A spot right up front, prime real estate. So what? It was a parking spot, not the lottery. The point is she believed completely in the idea that the universe was going to provide her what she needed in that moment, and dam if that isn’t a powerful idea. 

I’ve decided in this, my unintentional quest to (really) improve my life, I’m going to have to keep branching out in my way of thinking. If that means visualizing things I want for my life, then so be it. But, I think this has to be a two part process. It’s one thing to think about what I want in my life, but I need to also change my overall outlook on life in general. I can’t just say I would like to have a, b, & c, I also need to believe it can happen. That means striving to be more positive, removing as much negativity as I can. I should be hopeful about what could be, while at the same time being thankful for what already is. Instead of having my first thought be “Ugh, I hope they don’t hate what I’ve written,” it should be “Oh, I can’t wait to hear what they like about it!” Instead of thinking “I wish I was making money off of my writing,” I should be saying “I’m so thankful we have the jobs we do and are able to pay all of our bills.” This idea makes so much sense to me in the visualization process. Why would God/the Universe want to give me anything more, if I can’t be grateful for all that I have now?

A goal of each day is to find at least 5 things to be thankful for and write them down – concrete proof of all that is right. A new goal is to say thank you throughout the day, and not just for the easy things. The electric bill is a reminder that we have the wonderful conveniences of the modern world. A pile of laundry means I have clothes to wear, while dirty dishes point to all the food we have to eat. So many people in the world would love to have these “problems.” 

My hope it that eventually saying “thank you” will become as natural as breathing. I know in this day and age commiserating with someone over bad stuff is such an easy habit to fall into. It’s more common for some reason to bemoan when we’re having a bad day as opposed to sharing enthusiasm for all the good in our day. I am so guilty of this – I don’t know why it’s such an easy trap, but I sincerely want to be better about it. 

So I’ll start with this….. Thank you for reading and I hope you have an amazing day!

~Adrienne

Spring Cleaning For The Mind

OK. I have the physical decluttering under control (i.e. it’s a work in progress.) 

Great right?

My desk is clean, the piles have been corralled and I should be able to sit down at a moment’s notice and churn out a couple of chapters, right? Right….that’s how creativity works. You flip that switch and the words just come. I’m being slightly sarcastic. I don’t know many writers who can work that way. (If you are one of them don’t tell me – leave me my illusions please.)

I wasn’t having writers block in the traditional sense. I had thoughts and words, but they were all tangled in my head. For the last year I’ve mainly been writing in spurts. I would jot down an idea during the day, or worse, make mental notes and hope they didn’t float away. But, when I finally had an hour at the end of the day, I was mentally exhausted from staring at a computer all day at work. My personal process has always been that I need time to ease into the writing. I need to find the right music, I might doodle a little bit, read over what I had written the last time, read another person’s blog, anything that will get my mind into writing mode. You might call this procrastination, and you wouldn’t be completely wrong, but that’s how my mind works. It has to be coerced in a way into being focused on writing. Unfortunately, after all this preparation, now I’m forty five minutes into the aforementioned hour. And if I only have an hour, well what can I really complete in the fifteen minutes that are left? 

YOU NEED TO MENTALLY DECLUTTER ADRIENNE

(Yes, I yell at myself sometimes – again, all part of the process.)

Funny enough, in the middle of my Pinterest searches for minimalism, some random articles on self-care and morning rituals, kept popping up. I gravitated toward the ones that focused on people who were creative, or who were trying to be more creative. The morning rituals intrigued me – mainly because I’ve never been a morning person. Like ever. But they all pointed to the fact that your entire day could hinge on how your morning started. Prior to this my mornings had gone something like this. Snooze 5 times, at least, stumble from bed into workout clothes, attempt exercise routine (all while trying to wake up.) Then, while getting ready for work, my mind would be a steady stream of consciousness. Whatever was bothering me from the day before, what I was worried about for that day, some idea for my WIP that I needed to write down, and sometimes a quick prayer to get me through that day.

No wonder I felt mentally cluttered. 

So I pulled together the ideas that appealed to me the most and created a plan. The hardest part of the plan was the need to get out of bed – an hour earlier than I had been. Stay with me. I know it sounds like I’m a masochistic, but I needed to start my day off in a much calmer way. The only way to do that was to not literally hit the ground running. For the first week my goal was simply to get out of bed earlier. Anything that took place after that was considered a bonus. I’ll admit it was very difficult and I snoozed a couple of times. I actually set the alarm for earlier than one hour since I knew that would happen. As each day progressed I added in a new step. 

I dress in my workout clothes and make myself a bottle of lemon water and a strong cup of coffee. Moving to my desk, I listen to a meditation channel on Pandora. I have a couple of books of daily readings and depending on time and mood, I read at least one. By then my coffee and water should be half gone so my brain is (hopefully) ready to wake up. I start with a clean sheet of paper for each day. In the beginning it was mainly doodling and a couple of sentences about why I was awake at this ridiculous hour. But after a week the entries became longer, more detailed, actually making some sense. Some days I’m just venting about life. Sometimes it’s me trying to figure out an issue. There are even days that it almost turns into a prayer of sorts; maybe asking for the grace to get through just that one day, or for someone in my life who is dealing with something. I always end with a list of five things I am thankful for. I used to be very good about writing a thankful list every night, but it got away from me at some point. This way I start each day with a conscious effort to say thank you and be grateful.

At this point I’m more awake and ready to exercise without fear of falling over. From there I get ready for work and I’m ready for my day.

So that’s it – not an earth shattering change, but something that I feel is pushing me in the right direction. I’m about 3 weeks into the process and so far so good. Some mornings are easier than others. Some mornings I actually look forward to the ritual and the solitude. There are also times when all I want to do is turn off the alarm and go back to sleep. 

I’m a work in progress.

So far the biggest change I’m noticing comes from the little extra writing that I’m doing in the morning. I’ve noticed ideas are coming to me more frequently and when I do have time to write, it’s not taking me as long to get into writing mode. I’m being more productive, which has been my main goal all along. It’s still a little early to say it’s a major success, but I’m curious to see where this goes after I’ve been at it for a couple of months. I’ll keep you posted……

Adrienne

Clearing away the clutter

Wow, is it dusty in here or is it just me? I seriously can't remember the last time I was here. I think when I did come in, I'd turn on the light, take one look, feel overwhelmed and run out. And yes I'm speaking of the blog as well as my office.

Piles of paperwork that needed to be filed, bags of junk mail that need be shredded, clothes that needed to go to goodwill, unfinished projects, and basically just a lot of stuff. Stuff that had spilled from this room into every other room in my house. There's all kinds of studies that say clutter can lead to stress and I started to believe it, because I was experiencing it first hand. I couldn't get to my beautiful writing desk, because that's where bills and every other piece of paperwork would come to die. 

My closet was overflowing with too many clothes and shoes. I couldn't even see the floor of the closet because my shoes took over every inch of space. I kept telling myself I'd do something about all of it.... soon, but I never did. 

There was a constant shred pile on the corner of the dining room table, waiting for one of us to make a trek to the office. A plastic bag used to catch recyclables hung on the door to the basement, again, waiting for someone to take them to the bin in the garage.

One day I decided to work on my laptop at the dining room table, but, when I wasn't looking, the paperwork, had migrated to this room as well (probably because there was no more room on the desk). Along with it came magazines, catalogs, hats, gloves, bags, etc. And it wasn't just the dining room table. The breakfast bar and the kitchen island started to disappear too. 

I get the heebie jeebies when I see the show hoarders. Looking at my house - I started to get the heebie jeebies. Coming home every night, I would have to steel myself for the mess awaiting me. I'd take one look and any energy I had would immediately drain out of me. I couldn't believe how much the clutter and mess was affecting my life. I literally couldn't concentrate and things were beginning to suffer. Number one was my writing, which had become relegated to writing group one night a week and maybe a Saturday where I would run off to a coffee shop to force myself to sit and focus. Something had to give.

So I started searching for organization ideas obsessively on Pinterest. In the middle of all the posts one central them kept popping up - minimalism. Instead of just organizing your things, the idea is to learn to live with less. Downsizing, decluttering, capsule wardrobes - all catch phrases related to the minimalist lifestyle. I'm not ready to move into a tiny house, or get rid of all my books yet, but the whole concept sounded so very appealing.. I won't give a lesson on it here as I'm still far from the ideal minimalist. Search Pinterest if you're interested - seriously. 

Here's a quick list of some things I did accomplish/change in the past couple of months.

• Donated 10 large trash bags of clothing
• Donated 2 bags of shoes
• Donated 1 huge trash bag of towels to the local SPCA 
• Consolidated 2 trunks of bedding into 4 good sets that are stored inside of a pillow case for each one and kept in the linen closet (WHY was I keeping twin sheets when I haven't had a twin bed since college?)
• Started a box in the basement where I randomly add books (some mind you), knickknacks, old picture frames, and kitchen paraphernalia (how many knives can one person use??) At the end of the summer it will go to our churches garage sale
• Moved my remaining shoes off the floor and onto a closet shelf where they now sit in a beautiful row
• Bought a super inexpensive cubbyhole  bookcase that is now stored on the bottom of my closet on it's side. I purchased $1 cloth bins that I put in them to store the remainder of my clothes. Everything fits perfectly and I have to tell you, I'm getting the itch to ditch some more of the clothes after winter is over.
• Consolidated the contents of mine and hubby's old, beat up dressers so that we could downsize into a newer, much nicer dresser that we can share.

Once I started hubby was motivated to get in on the action. He cleaned out 2 junk drawers, a cabinet and 3 bags of clothes as well.

BUT some of the biggest changes were the simplest and most ridiculous. Ridiculous because it's hard to believe something so tiny could make such a big difference. 

• We made a small spot in the closet by the back door. It holds a bucket and a bag for the recyclables. It's out of sight and when it's full we take it to the garage.
• I installed a hook inside the closet of the backdoor to hang a bag for anything that needs to be shredded. Since this is where we open the mail it make perfect sense to have it right there. Junk mail immediately goes in the bag instead of on the kitchen table, island, my desk, kitchen chairs...you get the point.
• I employed hubby's carpentry talents to make a 3 tiered mail bin (yes I found the plans on Pinterest.) One slot is for coupons, ads and magazines, one is for letters, bills, anything that needs to be looked at, and the last one is for outgoing mail. He added some hooks to the bottom of it for keys, hat, umbrella, and garage door opener. 

Again, the simplest idea and yet it has made a world of difference in keeping the counters and most importantly, my desk, clutter free. The heebie jeebies started to take a hike and I started to write again. 

But after a few weeks I felt like I needed to do some mental decluttering as well....

I'll let you know how things are going in a few days :)

~ Adrienne

Dear Readers......

As someone who hopes to one day have a book nestled on a shelf at Barnes and Noble, the library, or even the book section of Amazon, I feel the need to give a shout out and some love to the people who make those places possible.

READERS

God bless readers. You pick up a square object with sheets of paper, a little ink, and you climb into the little (or big) world that the author created. You root for the protagonist and boo the antagonist. You cry, cheer, and sometimes are just genuinely pissed at the ending. You will argue with other readers and professional reviewers who just don't get what the writer was trying to say. You're thrilled when you hear the book is being made into a movie, and frustrated beyond belief when you find out the person cast for the lead character looks nothing like what you pictured in your head. Readers are detailed, analytical, critical, and brutally honest. Most of all, they are the person we most want to impress. They are the ones we are working for. It is their love we're trying to earn, so to speak.

The reason for all of this is that I got some love this month. Two of the people who so generously offered to read/critique my book for me, delivered their feedback. I've said it before and I will say it again. Letting someone else read your writing is downright scary. I would liken it to giving someone the ability to read your mind. Why would anyone do such a thing right? And yet writer's do it - ALL THE TIME. 

That being said, the feedback outweighs the paralyzing terror.

I'm kidding. It's not that bad......(Yes it is.)

The point is they both gave feedback that was analytical, detailed, and completely honest, while at the same time being very kind. They told me what they loved, what made them laugh and what broke their heart. They also showed me what needed work, what didn't ring true, and most importantly, suggestions for how to make it better. They both are writers as well, but their investment in wanting to help me make it better, is what makes them a reader. 

So to all my the readers out there - Thank you....

I'll keep working until I get it right :)

~Adrienne 

Miss me?

I shudder to see the last dated entry on this blog......I didn't just drift out of the picture. I dropped off the cliff. I'm not sure what exactly did me in. There isn't one specific thing I can point to; more  a combination of too many balls in the air and one of them had to drop.

So I dropped this, and for that I am extremely sorry.

When we last we spoke (well I spoke and hopefully you read), I was writing furiously plodding along, in an attempt to actually write a complete first draft of my book. The problem? I seemed to be doing many more things related to writing (including this blog), than actually WRITING THE BOOK! 

Seriously, what was the point of a writing blog, if I was doing more writing here than anywhere else? So I guess I went cold turkey? I needed to get my act together and finish the book. Even if went no where else than to my hard drive, at least I had done it. So that's what I did.......

I WROTE A BOOK! 

Yes, after many stops and starts, baby steps, pecking away at the keys for hours, and sometimes just a few minutes, it is finally done. Well, at least the first completed draft....ugh.

I did edit for another couple of months, until it came to the point that I could no longer see the things that needed to be corrected. You stare at the same words over and over and it all becomes a blur. I know it needs more, or maybe less. It needs editing, analyzing, and probably some big time changes. So I finally sent it out to some people with writing backgrounds and whose opinion I trust. So now I wait (patiently), for their feedback, and work to thicken my skin. I'm hoping the good of the story will outweigh the bad, but I'm also very aware of how insanely difficult the whole process is. So I'm doing my best to keep my expectations realistic. But for now, I am allowing myself a minute (ok maybe 5), to just be proud of myself for completing it.

I have a group of writing friends who inspire and motivate me to keep pushing. I know they are part of the reason I was able to finally finish the book. Three of them have books out or coming out (insert sound of clapping), so this just inspires me even more to keep pushing. Check them out....

Dee Romito - The BFF Bucket List

Kate Karyus Quinn - Down With The Shine

Alyssa Palombo - The Violinist of Venice


So that's that - the self imposed exile is over. Hopefully it won't be long before you're hearing from me again. 

~ Adrienne

No More Tomorrows.....

You approached us first, asking if the chair next to us was available. It was only much later that I found out you considered yourself somewhat of an introvert, someone who could never walk up to a group at a party. 

     "But you approached us at the conference," I teased.
     "There were only two of you," you had replied. "If there had been more I never would have stopped."

I thank God now that there were only 2 of us at that table.

We only met face to face for that one weekend, but in the few years that followed it was as if we'd known each other forever. The world of writing was the obvious connection, but I learned so much more about you over time. You were devoted to your boys and you were a champion of your friends. You had a kindness that came through so clearly. I remember sharing some work with you and you were so lovely in your critique, helping me to see what needed correcting, while at the same time completely embracing my words. You always took time to comment on my blog and encourage me to keep writing. Your legendary sense of humor came through in your 30 second stories and your open letters to the world. Most recently I loved your story of finding feathers as a sign from one who has passed on. Did you sense something? You had an overwhelming love of all art and you shared that with all of us. I learned how much you adored animals when you wrote of your girl Ivy and I teared up when you shared her passing. Your addition of Sophie brought a new love and joy to your heart that came through in every picture of her. Your status updates always made me laugh, or think and reflect. I loved seeing them pop up in my news feed, knowing all was right in your world. Last Sunday we exchanged tweets during the Oscars and it was like you were sitting next to me on the couch laughing away. That was Sunday...

Wednesday you were gone. 

We still can't believe that it's true - can't fathom that one so young with so much life ahead of her could disappear in the blink of an eye. You had messaged recently, asking if we would be attending the conference again this year. I told you it wouldn't work out, but that we missed you. I know in my head I was thinking there would always be next year. How easily we all believe there will always be another tomorrow. 

My heart goes out to your family and friends - I pray that they find comfort in your memory and eventually peace. I pray that we all find it. For anyone reading this, please say a prayer tonight that we all have many tomorrow's, and please pray for my friend and her family.


We'll miss you Jotter Girl....we'll be looking for our feathers.

Adrienne

Putting Yourself Out There....

Yes it's me....yes, I've been MIA. Mostly for good reasons - as in I haven't been writing here as I've been doing more writing elsewhere. When I look back I realize that was my whole reason for beginning this blog in the first place. So it is a good thing that I've been absent, but I still feel guilty and like I need to apologize. So I'm sorry :)

So, back to that writing thing. I took a big step (for me) and joined a critique group a few months back. I took the first couple of chapters of my story and sent them off to small handful of strangers for a round robin group edit. They in turn sent me their work and we passed them off to each other and at the end we received our work back with four sets of edits, notes, and feedback. 

To say I stressed out during that time would be an understatement....a HUGE understatement. Now don't get me wrong. I never once feared they would be cruel in their critique. I like to believe writers are a kind group, who are out to bolster other writers, not knock them to the ground. But all the same, I was taking something that was near and dear to me, something I had invested a huge amount of time and emotion into, and handing it off to perfect strangers. I was putting myself out there in the most exposed way possible. I'm pretty shy by nature, so talking to someone about what I'm writing gets me tongue tied. Actually showing someone what I've written takes that fear to a whole new level. What if they didn't get what I was trying to convey? What if they didn't get the funny parts, the sad parts, and everything in between? Even worse - what if they just had no interest in reading it at all? All of these were real possibilities. I'm not going to kid myself. I know just how difficult this writing thing can be and the likelihood of ever actually being published. (It's a wonder anyone puts themselves through this.) But I also know that in order to learn and grow as a writer I need to show my work to other people. I have to open it up to scrutiny, and yes, criticism from others. 

I'm happy to report that all the breath holding these last few months was not necessary. Their feedback was incredibly generous. They got the humor, they teared up at certain parts, and they were (I hope) genuinely interested in the story. One of the best compliments came when someone said it made them hug their husband and child a little tighter that night. Now, they also pointed out my issues with punctuation. I'm pretty sure I was absent during the lesson on comma and semi colon use. They also found the holes where a piece of information was left out. When you read something over and over and you know the story so well in your head, you tend to overlook when certain things are missing. They pointed out times where the humor was too soon, the drama needed to be ramped up, and when a piece of dialogue didn't ring true for a character. The cool thing about that is that in only a couple of chapters they already knew who my characters were. They understood their personality and they immediately picked up on something that seemed out of character for them. The other cool thing was that they disagreed with each other at times. One pointed out not loving slang in dialogue, while another said they felt it was true to they way people speak in real life. Sometimes it's just a matter of personal preference and has nothing to do with whether you can write. Overall their feedback was constructive, and reaffirming. The other cool thing? I got to read four other pieces of work and experience their creativity process too. These could be the first drafts of really amazing books and I got to be one of the first to read them. 

See, putting yourself out there can turn out to be a really good thing. 

Have you tried it lately?

~Adrienne