Pruning - Part I

When hubby and I first began our house hunt 5 years ago, we knew the house itself would need to be modest due to our budget. A couple of bedrooms, a garage and a nice neighborhood, were our main goals. I myself had only one concern. I wanted flowers in my yard. All the years leading up to this moment, first in my own apartment and then in our condo, were filled with a simple desire to plant something.....anything.So when we came upon our house it was pretty much what we were looking for. Three bedrooms, a garage (2 car!), and it was in a cozy neighborhood. In addition the house came with......some...ummm.... lovely.....bushes. As you can see from the picture above, these were no small bushes. No sirree. These bushes were apparently planted shortly after the house was built and they were, (according to legend) only trimmed once during that time. What you are looking at folks is actually the top of the bushes. They had grown so much over the years that they essentially tipped over, hence the top became the front of the bushes. What you can't see from the picture is the space behind them, which was large enough to house a small village. Not being fond of the idea of someone or something hiding out in them, we made pulling them out our first priority. Neighbors told us later that they had no idea there was an additional bedroom window on the front of the house until then! In fairness to the previous owners, the woman was elderly and too proud to ask for assistance, so she had done what she could. 

Now what the front of the house lacked in color and aesthetics, the back of the house made up for. Primroses, cone flowers, rosebushes, evergreens and a number of other bushes and shrubs. It was obvious the woman loved to garden and this was her pride and joy. I was thrilled. I could see that some work would need to be done to bring things under control, but it was what I had wanted right? Fast forward a couple more months to the actual closing/moving process and reality sunk in. Knowing the home owner had been ill, it made sense that things would be a little neglected. What we had failed to realize was that the neglect had actually gone on for a couple of years and things were in serious decline. Flower beds were overflowing with flowers that were planned and those that had simply moved in on their own. Not to mention the weeds that had infiltrated, each and every one of the beds. Shrubs were overgrown or half dead, and the others grew at odd angles, competing for sun with a large neighboring tree. The main eyesore ran along the entire length of the back of the house. The area (again due to the large tree), didn't get sun but for about 2 hours a day. Therefore the ground never dried completely, resulting in a soggy, mossy mess. The bushes and plants that attempted to grow there had about an inch of foliage at the top and about 2 feet of dead branches underneath. What did flourish in this area was pachysandra, an insanely fast spreading ground cover. It had spilled itself right over the borders of the flower bed and was threatening to take over the entire yard.

But, again this was what I had wanted right? So I dug in (literally). We dug out the front bushes and replaced them with small (manageable) box woods and rose of Sharon. We removed dead evergreens and cut back anything that stood still. We then took a wait and see approach with everything else. With some pruning and patience we hoped that most of the yard would regenerate itself in a healthy fashion. But the following year brought much of the same. No matter how much had been cut back, some things were just too old and had gone too long with out care to revive themselves. So we removed the shrub that couldn't grow straight and dug out the rampant pachysandra. I was stubborn about a lot of things though. Hubby and I fought discussed saving some things.Trust me, I held onto things that were well past their prime, including a miniature rose bush that had been choked for years by a pair of evergreens. The bush literally produced about 5 flowers in its last year of life, being more of a stump than anything else, but I felt the need to continue trying to save it. He wanted to clean things up and make the yard neater, while I felt an odd sense of loyalty to the previous owner, a gardening kinship if you will. I felt extreme guilt at removing anything she had planted and obviously cared for. I also felt like a failure for not being able to keep up with it and make it look better. 

After a couple of years of the ongoing struggle with things, I agreed to some small changes. We began with the swamp behind the house. Knowing nothing would grow there we decided to turn the space into a patio. That went extremely well, but even seeing those improvements, I was still reluctant to give up - give up my guilt over not being much of a "natural" gardener and my belief that I could do it all. So it took until this year for me to finally say enough is enough. We needed to make some real changes. As much as I loved the idea of gardening, I was not retired nor a trained horticulturist. There were not enough hours in the day that were required to keep everything maintained. I loved summer, but I wasn't being allowed to enjoy it because I was always trying to fix something in the yard. 

I realized that gardening is a lot like life. We hold onto things that aren't working far past their time. Relationships, jobs, addictions, and most of all guilt. Guilt that we aren't doing everything right, that we're not getting everything done, or worse, that we aren't living our life as someone else is expecting us to. Sometimes we need to say enough is enough and start cutting back. Look at things in a different light (especially those areas that don't get sun), rethink the layout of your life.....and most importantly, get a pair of good pruning shears.

~ Adrienne

Next up.......Time for change........

House calls.......

Happy Saturday! How are you spending yours? The weather here is cool and damp which is my only consolation as I sit waiting. What am I waiting for you ask? A house call......from a vet. Don't laugh....extreme circumstances call for extreme measures.

Meet Mr. Extreme (AKA Kim the cat).....he looks harmless right? Don't kid yourself folks. He's 20 pounds of meek and mild mannered at home (afraid of his shadow, the vacuum and his 10 pound sister.) He runs in terror at most things and a couple of times has gone head first into a wall to avoid whatever danger he's confronted with. Except of course when we go to the vet. The trouble begins in just getting him to the vet. When he outgrew his regular cat carrier, we purchased one of the luggage style ones that you can unzip from the top. Much easier to lift him into right? Wrong. Lifting him in is no issue. Getting him to lay down? BIG issue. He squares his shoulders and holds his ground. So after wrestling, cajoling, and tempting with treats, he is somehow in.....and you need a shower. The entire car ride there he presses his nose against the mesh siding and hyperventilates (in between the yowling at the top of his lungs.) Got forbid we ever have to drive anywhere with him farther than across town. I now understand why the guys on The A-team were always drugging BA.

Okay, so now we're at the vet - good right? Sure......once in the waiting room he goes eerily silent and unmoving, except for his eyes which are darting everywhere. The last few times they took pity on us, allowing us to wait in the car with him until they were ready for him, but there is no fooling that boy. Once in the room and out of his carrier he's "gently" placed on the scale, which he lowers himself into attempting to make himself dissapear. If I can't see you, you can't see me. Then the real fun begins. They attempt to take his temperature. For those of you not familiar with how a cat's temp is taken.....ask someone with a cat. In the 7 years that we've had him he's only had his temp taken once.....They tell me that vet tech was looking for a different career anyway, but I don't believe them. 

They attempt to listen to his heartbeat, but it's pretty difficult to hear over all that screeching. His teeth get examined when he hisses at them. The vaccine shots involve a towel, vet, a tech and some hapless helper who has no idea what they are in for. Let me just say, whoever invented those pretty, shiny smooth exam tables is an idiot. Trying to contain a 20lb fur ball (and I do mean fur) on top of that table is like trying to control a mountain lion on a skating rink. It's not long before he is on the floor, under the table, ready to kill. The first time this occurred, the vet sent for a backup. Enter hapless kid wearing giant bird gloves (you know the kind they use with bald eagles?) He looks down at my sweet, gentle baby (ears back as far as they will go, eyes dilated as big as they will go and oh my Grandma, what big teeth you have), looks at me and asks "Uhhhh does he bite?" 

The last time we took him there they highly suggested we look into giving him a tranquilizer before bringing him in again. So needless to say he hasn't been in awhile. I feel very bad about that, but the stress level brought on by such visits is horrible. He usually ends up sick for the next day and is even more skittish than normal. But my fear is that should something happen where he requires medical attention, they won't see him if he hasn't had a rabies vaccine. So that's where the house call comes in. I found a local vet who offers home visits on Saturdays. They have the belief that the animal will behave better in their own environment. There isn't the added stress of getting him out of the house, the car ride, etc. They even assured me they don't mind if the animal tries to bite them (we'll see).

So, again here I wait. I have catnip and bird gloves ready. I also have gauze, peroxide and some surgical tape as well as 911 on speed dial......Wish me luck.

Adrienne

PS - I know you're wondering about "does he bite?" The last time he was there for a regular checkup the new tech (I can't understand why they have so many new techs) looked at his chart and said "Oh, apparently you don't like coming to the vet Kim. It says here that you're a possible biter.....oh my....possible is crossed out."

Today I am thankful for...........

If you've read my blog, you probably know that I have a thing about gratitude.

Sometimes it's hard for us to remember to be thankful for what we have. Life can get pretty crazy, as it has for me the last couple of month (hence the lack of posts - sorry!).

I think it's doubly important during the crazy times to really focus on the things that make life good. It's easy to notice the BIG things in our life; getting the job, vacations, celebrations, falling in love and winning the lottery (OK I know nothing about that one, but there are people who do.)

The time when it's most important to be grateful, is when things aren't the rosiest.The things we should notice? Sometimes the littlest things make all of the difference.......

Unconditional Love from a pet - Every morning my Daisy leaps (yes leaps with no warning) onto my shoulder and snuggles in for a love fest. She gets as close as possible and purrs like a motorboat. There's nothing like it for starting your morning.

"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." ~ George Elliot

                                                                                

Three weddings and an engagement - We have 3 weddings to attend this summer and two of our closest friends just announced their engagement. In a world where marriages expire faster than a gallon of milk, it's encouraging to see people who are still willing to commit their lives to each other. To say yes - you are the one I want to grow old with. 

"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage."  ~Martin Luther        

                                                 

Health and Contacts - 

Getting an all clear this week on a health scare for a relative - Enough said right?

 

After my eye surgery earlier this year, I'd pretty much ruled out being able to wear contacts again. It was going to be glasses for me here on out, which I was okay with. (As I said before, the ability to just see outweighs pretty much everything else.) So imagine my surprise when the doctor suggested we go back to contacts. They actually think it could help protect my eye, as long as we can rule out the allergy they originally thought that I had. Two weeks of wearing them - so far so good :)

"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver." Mahatma Gandhi

                                                             

Having a passion - Hubby turned his love for flying into a full time teaching job this year. He works crazy hours (anywhere from 6am to 9pm), but he's absolutely loving it because he loves what he's doing.

I've always written (or at least dabbled in it), but this year in particular has brought a new focus for me. Ever since the writing conference last year, my friend and I have put renewed effort into our goals. Meeting a couple of times a month for a writing session, joining writing groups and taking online classes, forced me to keep focus on my goal. The hours are long, and there are days when I'm exhausted, but I'm loving every minute of it too. 

"You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it." Oprah Winfrey

                                                                            

Dark Chocolate - Hey, I said it's the little things right? 

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." Charles M. Schulz

What little things made your list for this week?

~ Adrienne
 
                                                       

Tuesday Testimonial.....

Healthy Options......

Lately I've been looking for ways to update foods that I love, to a "healthier" status. Two of my new favorite finds, are doing just that.

#1 - PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter - Made by Bell Plantation, this peanut butter has 85% less fat than regular peanut butter. How does this compare to other peanut butters? 

A typical serving (2tbsp) of a popular brand (not naming names) - contains 16grams of fat, 190 calories and 3 grams of sugar. The same serving size of PB2? 1.5 grams of fat, 45 calories and 1 gram of sugar!! A majority of the oil is removed from the peanuts in their process, leaving a peanut butter powder. 

To make a serving, you simply add a tbsp of water for each serving (more or less depending on desired consistency) and you're all set. It also comes in a dark chocolate option, which is very good too. Something to note - For anyone who loves those popular brands of peanut butter and are used to that very sweet taste; this may be a difficult taste to acquire. It really is just peanuts, so the taste is decidedly less sweet, but I believe those who love peanuts will love this as well.

#2 DAMY Health Natural Weight Loss & Body Transformation Experts  - The website is run by a husband and wife team of Amy and David Layne, who specialize in anything health and fitness related.

Now, let me preface this by saying this site does promote a couple of different diet and exercise programs that are available for purchase. I haven't purchased any of the programs so I can't speak to their effectiveness, but there are a number of testimonials available to read from satisfied customers. However they do offer, for anyone to access, all of the recipes that they use in their meal plans. They offer lunch, dinner, snacks and desserts

The part that fascinates me about this site is the way she creates seemingly decadent food, using extremely healthy ingredients. You can find anything from homemade LARA Bars, cheesecake made from Greek yogurt, pizza crust made from cauliflower, to a peanut butter cup made from pumpkin puree (I think that will be my recipe for this weekend.) The pictures she uses to show off her creations make it hard to believe that they're made from anything but the bad stuff. (I wasn't able to copy any pictures here so please,please check out her site to get the full effect of these recipes!)

So far I've tried her recipes for hummus, bread sticks, cauliflower pizza dough and cauliflower bites, chocolate chip protein balls, Spicy lime roasted chic peas and my personal favorite.....chocolate chip cookie dough made from......chic peas. I kid you not.....

Many of her recipes are considered gluten free and vegan, but just a warning for anyone with a nut allergy - many of her dessert recipes do call for nuts. Overall, a very refreshing take on how to eat more healthy using a very creative imagination.

Happy Eating!!

 ~Adrienne

 

Daisy's Big Day.....

So, I realize that I've been MIA lately.......

I've been trying to move myself along in the book writing, which means other things have taken a back seat. That and a longer than expected recovery from my eye surgery (just a lot of annoying eyestrain), has meant no new blog posts. (I also spilled coffee on myself this week, resulting in a 2nd degree burn on my arm, so we're doing just great.)

 I promise to try and get back on track soon, but in the meantime I have a guest host today.......

Anyone who knows my cat Daisy, knows that she has an extreme personality (she pretty much thinks she's human). So I thought she could give an insight into what a typical day is like for her.......

Day 1....Morning

My owners refuse to draw my bath for me......so I'll sit in the tub and wait. I'm sure that I can outlast them.

Breakfast time........they aren't attending to my needs fast enough, so I will just help myself.....can someone help me get this Tupperware open??

 

Mid-morning.....Time to play who will blink first......or what I like to call torturing my big brother.

Time for my morning snooze......talk amongst yourselves........

 Lunchtime.......can't get the fridge open so I guess I'll just rearrange the magnets for them.

I could look at myself in the mirror all day.......in fact I do sometimes....

 .......as long as it doesn't interfere with my afternoon nap........

 Late Afternoon......Dammit - they've got some kind of bars on my cell.......my escape is foiled again! Curses! Oh well, maybe I can see if my big brother wants to play hide and go seek again........

Does it look like I want to play hide and go seek???

Fine.....I'll leave you alone grumpy pants. 

Here I sit.....alone.....waiting for my servants to return from toiling in the fields.....or whatever it is that they do.

Evening.......Sigggghhhhhhh....my people have returned and all is right with the world.

All right.....enough with the picture taking! Move along, shows over!

It's not about the towels.....

          

            I caught a marathon of the Kardashian's recently (sue me - It was a day when nothing was on and I needed to rest after my eye surgery.) It was an episode from the end of the season where newly married Kim and Kris decided to go out on a dinner date to reconnect. Call me crazy, but a couple newly married should not need to try and reconnect. I watched as they sat in strained silence, waiting for their food to come. I'm telling you, never has food delivery looked more like a death row reprieve. Later she commented during a monologue that they didn't seem to have much in common. Again....say what?? The kicker though, came when she had a mini breakdown at the thought of her new husband moving (gasp) all of his things into her house.

           I have to say that even though we all knew at that point how their story ended, it was still pretty shocking to see how ridiculously out of touch they both were with what a marriage truly meant; not a wedding mind you - a marriage. I remember the entertainment news coverage of every step of their courtship and warp speed wedding planning; everything from their initial dates to registering for gifts. If there was one thought that stood out in all of this (and this is a piece of advice for anyone getting married) -
                                              It's not about the towels!
         It's not about the towels, the sheets, wineglasses, or the china pattern, or any other wedding gift you'll receive. It's only about you and the other person, and the fact that you are committing the rest of your life to each other. It's making sure that you know as much as you can about that other person, and still wanting to say "I do."

         Let me say this loud and clear. If the idea of planning your wedding is more exciting than the idea of being married....you're not ready to say "I do." If you're more excited about the idea of an open bar at your reception than in seeing your future wife waiting at the altar.....not ready. If you're more excited about wearing a pretty white dress, the honeymoon, picking out new towels, or anything other than being an everyday husband/wife.. ...you......are......not.....ready.

         Towels fray, wine glasses break, wedding dresses yellow - marriage is not something you can trade in when the wear of years start to show. You need to make sure you're giving as much attention to your marriage as you are to planning the wedding. If your boyfriend isn't very nice to you when you're dating, a wedding won't change that. If your relationship consists of endless fights, an over the top wedding will not correct that.
         Now, I'm not saying that you need to date someone for years before you determine if they are the one. Hubby and I were married a year and one month after we met. What I am saying is know the person you're marrying and make sure they know you, (the real you, not the one who made sure you looked perfect for each of your first dates.) The you who has bad hair days, is cranky in the morning, has less than perfect credit, and sings along with the radio.....to every song. Ask each other those questions that you both need to know the answers to before saying I do. Do you want kids? What kind of saver/spender/bill payer are you? Where do you see your life in 10 years? Really listen to their answers and then watch their behavior to see if it matches up. If he tells you that he likes quiet nights at home, but wants to go out every night, that says something. If that is who he is, then it's who he is. It's not a bad thing, but make sure it's your thing. Likewise, if quiet nights at home are what you crave, then don't pretend to love going out every night in the secret hope that he'll change once you're married. Tell him, this is who I am and this is what I'm looking for. If you are both in it for real then you will find a way to compromise now and then (dinner in tonight, dinner out with friends tomorrow). Hiding who you really are, or turning a blind eye to who they really are is not fair to either party.

          Give yourself and the person you love, the respect you both deserve. Give marriage the respect that it deserves. Remember.....marriage first, towels second. 

                                                ~ Adrienne

What I've Learned.......

What I've learned this week .....

#1 People say the strangest things...

Overheard in the doctor's office waiting room:

Husband and wife discussing pain tolerance:

Wife - "I just don't think you have a very high tolerance for pain."

Husband - "Yeah I do. I had hip surgery. You've never gone through anything like that. The only thing you've gone through that you could maybe compare it to would be child birth....I guess."

I'm thinking he was going to experience a whole new kind of pain later that day.....

#2 Retirement can make you do some funny things.

My father in law retired back in October and like many new retirees, he's been enjoying it to the hilt. He travels, goes out to breakfast with the guys, and takes naps when he wants. But lately there have been signs that perhaps he's getting a little bored. He decided to try baking......a cake......just to see..... if he could.

This was the picture hubby sent me at work.....as you can see it was not just a cake, but a 3 layer cake. Let me make this clear......he made 3 separate cake mixes and then made one HUGE cake out of it. It was so big that he didn't have enough frosting for it. He had to use cool whip for the bottom half and then the homemade, (yes, he also made his own frosting) cream cheese, frosting on the top layer. It fed 9 of us and there was still half a cake left!! We're pushing for him to find a job......and soon!

#3 Everyone should have a Kevin Costner as their friend. 

 

            As most people know by now, Whitney Houston's funeral was yesterday. I viewed a small portion of the ceremony, in particular, Kevin Costner's extremely moving tribute. He spoke, not as a movie star, but as someone struggling to hold it together at the funeral of a dear friend.

         One of the stories he told involved Whitney's screen test for the movie "The Bodyguard." As he pointed out, even as popular as she was at the time, she was still required to try out for the job, as she had no acting experience. At one point it was determined that it wasn't going to work out, as she would be on tour at the time the movie would be shooting. Kevin Costner was so sure that she was right for the part, that he convinced the studio to postpone things for a year. Even after all of that, she still had to try out for the part. He met her in her dressing room the morning of the test, where she expressed her concern over being able to do this. As he put it, she wondered if they would like her enough. After reassuring her that she'd be wonderful and that he knew the part was hers, she asked for a few minutes by herself. After about 20 minutes, she arrived on set. Four minutes into her test, there was a call for a break. Kevin took Whitney aside and asked what she had done during the time they had waited, to which she replied that she was just thinking. Kevin took her back to her trailer and stood her in front of a mirror. As he explained during his speech, Whitney had removed the makeup they had used on her for the test, in favor of her own, thicker, much heavier, stage makeup. She'd feared that the makeup they used didn't cover her imperfections enough. Unfortunately her makeup was not made to withstand the hot lights used during the test shoot, and consequently it was now running down her face. Kevin said Whitney was mortified and asked him if anyone had noticed. The gentleman that he was, Kevin told her that no one had and made sure she was ready for the rest of the screen test. As everyone pretty much knows by now, "The Bodyguard" was a huge hit, earning more than $400 million as well as Oscar nominations for 2 of the songs in the movie

          Kevin's story was touching and yet heartbreaking. Some might even say, it was a little unkind to tell. It wasn't bad enough that Whitney is gone, now someone is standing in front of the world telling a story that highlights her flaw of being seriously insecure. At the height of her career, being one of the most popular celebrities in the world, she felt she wasn't pretty enough to pass a screen test. It spoke volumes about how fragile her psyche must have been. I actually think that story alone, was one of the only "true" stories that have been told since her passing. I think Kevin knew very well what he was doing in telling that particular story. He was humanizing her. He said to the world that in spite of all the accolades, awards, money and fame, Whitney was a person, who could be just as scared and full of self doubt as the next person. The demons that we all face were no stranger to her. Perhaps because of her fame and the pressure she felt, they overwhelmed her even more. Perhaps the drugs and alcohol were an attempt to combat the demons and insecurities that she faced. From the outside, we saw a beautiful woman with an even more beautiful voice. For Whitney, she saw someone for whom there was never enough makeup to cover her imperfections.

        I've heard and read a number of comments about Whitney this week. Some were kind, expressing sorrow at the loss of such an amazing voice and memories of the joy her music had brought. But too many of them were jokes made regarding her drug addiction and erratic behavior in the later years of her career. I think it's easy to forget sometimes that celebrities are human too. Yes she was Whitney Houston, big singer and movie star. But she was also some one's daughter, some one's niece, and some one's mother. To Kevin Costner she was a friend, and he had no shame in telling this to the world.