Friday, June 24, 2011

Green Acres......

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me. Land spreadin' out so far and wide    

Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside. 

     On a recent trip in the country, my Hubby pointed out an old style John Deere farm tractor for sale by the side of the road. As we live in the suburbs I asked Hubby where he thought he might use said tractor. That started him off on talk of chucking it all to start his own farm. We exchanged a few wisecracks about chickens and a goat or two. No cows I told him as I can't live with the smell. A few days later he says to me and I quote:

  Hubby -   "So Jill (his sister) says she's in for a goat and John (his cousin) is in for a couple of chickens. Oh and Steve (his friend) is in for a couple of chickens too."
  Me - "I'm sorry, what do you mean they're in for?"    
  Hubby - "For the farm."
  Me - "Ohhhh right, the farm. Umm so these are like farm warming gifts? Ha ha ha"
  Hubby - "Yeah something like that."

   So tonight, while out to dinner with a Good friend (here after referred to as Instigator), Hubby brings up the farm idea again and I'm beginning to fear that this is becoming more than a funny anecdote. The story begins with Hubby extolling the virtues of the tractor he saw. When Instigator wasn't getting the picture of it, I said "you know like the tractor he rides at the beginning of Green Acres." 
    "Ahhhh" Instigator said. "Now I get it." 

    Instigator and Hubby spend next hour discussing the various types of crops, produce, items, etc their farm could be known for. There is a discussion of hydroponics (after clarifying to Instigator that this does not involve anything illegal), coffee and bananas (climate no good), eggs (you'll need a lot of range chickens) and finally hops, barley, etc for beer. There was also a discussion of greenhouses and biospheres.

   Instigator - "Hey didn't the funding just run out for the biosphere out West? It's just sitting there idle right?" 
   From there talk turned to the type of "uniform" they would be wearing. I believe they settled on Carhartt overalls, straw hats and plaid shirts. (My apologies to Instigator's girlfriend.) From there, the farm idea turned into a farm/bed and breakfast, with a landing strip that also had an airplane shuttle service to and from said bed and breakfast, with lake for jet skiing, and $1,000 omelets (made of course with the eggs from our chickens.....). 
    As the conversation went further and further and Instigator continued to "encourage" farm fantasy, I commented that this was getting out of hand and I felt a little like Zaza Gabor getting dragged to the middle of the which they both just laughed.
    It's now two hours later and Instigator and Hubby are both researching farming and crops.....and I'm scared. :(


PS - Did I mention that the neighborhood we currently live in is called Green Acres?


  1. This one is the best by far! Love this one.....really like the storytelling banter back and forth. Just great! By the way, your "hubby" really does need to cut back on the coffee....too much energy to think of these things!

  2. Good Morning Zsa Zsa! Remind your husband that he will have to climb the pole to answer the phone, you will have to master the the plugs aka electricity in the kitchen and you will need a pet pig named Arnold Ziffle. But most of all, remind the love of your life that you are going on a shopping trip for some feather boas, glitzy diamonds, gowns and heels. Happy farming!

  3. My hubby and I were laughing so hard.

    Um, and he will probably be commenting later. Or calling to get in on the deal.

  4. Sorry "A"...but tell Jeff im in for hayrides!!!

  5. @ Jackie - This literally was the conversation for the entire meal. Instigator's girlfriend now knows that she is not allowed to leave me alone with them. :)

  6. @ Jotter - I think I'll need to have him watch a rerun or two to remind him of all the "fun" they went through.....and I will be stocking up on boas and of course some new heels (whether there is a farm or not, you need good heels.)

  7. @ Apple - this was so the conversation for your hubby! I mean he already has the grains right? He could take care of growing the soybeans and many chickens should I put you down for?

  8. @ Char - This is no freebie farm. You want hayrides then I expect you to be over during the sowing and harvesting've heard of byo beer? This is byo....hay :)

  9. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall during this conversation! You could turn it into a type of farm where you have visitors and charge admission or something...have a corn maze set up, etc. Jeff may be on to something here!!!! Maybe I shouldn't have said that.....bad, bad, must stop doing that.....

  10. @ Jackie....yes maybe you should stop. :)