Tuesday, June 28, 2011

You Can't Make This Stuff Up........

           I’ll admit it; I like to observe people and conversations, when I’m in public. When you’re looking for character and story ideas, you take your inspiration where you can find it. Recently, because of the increased amount of writing, I’ve been even more aware of the people around me when I’m out and about. This week in particular was pretty entertaining.

Ex. 1.) Daughter and Father perusing the $5 DVD section at Target.

Father – “Oh this looks like a good one, don’t you think?”

Daughter (Probably about 7 years old) – “Daddy, we cannot get that movie!”

Father – “Why not?”

Daughter – “Daddy, there’s a dog in it. If there is a dog in the movie, it means something bad is going to happen to it.” (Someone’s been watching too much Old Yeller…..)

Father – “Really? Wow, how do you know that?”

Daughter – “Come on, it’s in all the movies….Marley and Me? There’s a dog in it. He gets old and has to go away…..so I can’t watch any movies with dogs in them.” (Note to self….start checking the backs of movies to see if a dog is mentioned before renting.) 

Ex. 2) Teenage boyfriend and girlfriend in makeup aisle – Girl is looking at nail polish.

Girl – “Which color do you like?”

Boy – “This one (hands her a shade of pink.)

Girl – “Oh! I can’t buy this – the rack for this one is full!”

Boy – “What does that mean??"

Girl – “It means no one likes this color!”(Duhhhh!)

Boy – “Well I like the color. That’s all the matters right?” (Awww so naive)

Girl – “Yeah….I guess so…(Not convincing sweetie)...Oh! I just remembered. I have an OPI color like this at home (Good Save) so I’ll just pick something else.”

Boy – “I have no idea what that means, but okay.”

Girl – “What about this color?” (Hands him something with sparkles…and a lot of them.)

Boy(Looking closely at the label) “I guess it’s good if you were going to a Bratz slumber party….” (Again after reading the color name) “Wow, nothing says maturity like Spunky Sprinkles.”

I can’t make this stuff up……

Ex. 3 ) Outlet Bread Store (Hubby and I are waiting in line.) 

NOTE - All the staff in the store have hair dos like Marge Simpson and have a voice like Flo from Alice….

The customer ahead of us in line very politely inquires about a certain product.

Customer – “Do you know if you still carry the Honey Oat Bread?”(The cashier gestures to another staff member across the room and suggests she asks her.)

(As the customer heads for the other employee the cashier hollers (I’m not kidding when I say China would have heard her) across the room which is literally about the size of a...breadbox.

Cashier– “Hey Bev (insert Flo’s voice here) – she wants to know if we have some oat stuff something or other!” (Entire room is now looking due to volume of voice….except for the employee she was yelling to.)
Cashier now waits on customer in front of us. While waiting for customer to dig the change out of her purse, the cashier takes the down time to readjust the fake pony tale attached to the top of her head. She then proceeds to hike up her shirt to rearrange the skin tight leggings she’s wearing (and when I say rearrange….I mean rearrange. ) Hubby now resembles deer caught in the headlights…..
Cashier now takes money from customer but change drawer will not close. “Flo” is now slamming drawer repeatedly and I am pretty sure we should duck soon as I feel it’s going to take flight any moment.. Ahhh success. Now the drawer has closed and we are safe from flying cash registers once again.

As we are walking out the door, the employee that “Flo” bellowed at walks up to the counter. “Hey, did you say something before?”

Seriously? How can I make this stuff up???


  1. Very entertaining! Sometimes real life is really better than fiction. I guess that is why the best writers actually get out into the world and use it as their inspiration? So, did you get any good characters or story ideas out of it? :)

  2. Amazing! I've gotten to the point where I dread going to Walmart now just because I don't want to deal with the idiots there......Here's your sign!

  3. Good stuff Adrienne! You're inspiring me to Blog. I need to put my dreams in print. I have a doozie almost every night! ~Kathy Lig~

  4. I wish I were in the nail polish aisle with them. That was hilarious!

  5. Very funny! I cannot tell you how many people, including adults, who asked me if Duffy dies in my book, The Duffy Chronicles, before they will read it. He doesn't, but if you didn't read Marly and Me because the dog dies you missed a great book.

    As for Flo...

  6. You are so funny. Anything interesting at Panera the other day?

  7. @ Brenna - I love observing people because as they say, truth is stranger than fiction. Ironically I have a scene in my book with 3 gossipy women and I think "Flo" fit the bill for any of them. :) Thanks for popping in!

  8. @ Jackie - Thinking you should cut down on the coffee (see previous blog) No need to stress so. :) Could you start writing down what you hear/see and send it to me?

  9. @ Kathy Lig - That would be a great blog idea! I can never remember my dreams (unless they are nightmares and really who needs to hear that?) :)

  10. @ Barbara - I had never thought about that until the little girl said it...things kids come up with :) And I for one loooved Marley and Me even though I knew what was coming.

    Another good one for all you dog/pet lovers; The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. (Disclaimer - you should have some tissues.)

    Also to find the Duffy Chronicles....

    As always Barbara - thanks for dropping by. :)

  11. @ Jotter - I wanted to follow them when they left to see what other aisles they were visiting. Had to be some other stories there.... :)

  12. @ Apple - sadly not a thing....but you have to just get work done sometimes. :)

  13. I get a lot of interesting material from work...so that should not be a problem...people will remain anonymous of course. Your wonderful nephew will sometimes say or do the most interesting things as well. I'll keep you posted.

  14. BTW....I need the coffee.....remember I was taking one for the team??? So back off....:):)

  15. @ Jackie - I was kind of looking for the walmart scenarios....but nephew's funny too. :)

  16. Does this mean I need to visit Walmart more often than usual???

  17. I just heard a good one.

    "Mom, what's feminine hygiene?"

  18. @ Apple - Where did you hear that???

  19. lol At the store today. A wholesale club, so there must have been a big display of "feminine hygiene" products.

    We had already passed the family, so I didn't get to hear the response!

  20. @ Apple - I would have loved to hear the explanation on that one. :)

  21. I just cracked up reading the teenage couple story. I have to share this post!

  22. @ Melanie - it cracked me up just listening to them....Feel free to share away..... :)

  23. John and I were at Walmart (ugh) to buy just a shower curtain. We're trying to get to the cash register when this old lady is pushing a cart and seems to be in a daze/fog/another world, who knows! And didn't pay any attention that we were trying to cross to the register. She had a glassy eyed look and just seemed to steer the cart right for us. John said "I think she was drunk." I wondered how she even got to the store!