Sunday, July 10, 2011

Opposites Attract???

Hubby and I went jet skiing for a couple of glorious hours on Lake Ontario today. Our trip went something like this: 
    We started off on a yearly ritual that includes, a very slow putt putt in order to ensure I had time to get used to the motion of the machine, spray of water in my face and remembering when to lean. Then, when I am more comfortable, Hubby opens the throttle and I bury my face into his back. Just when I am positive we are about to go airborne, he backs off and and resumes our leisurely ride. When it's time to go, he drops me off at the dock before heading back out for some breakneck speed and hair pin turns. He has the time of his life, while I watch and cheer from the deck. 
       I realized today that this scene is somewhat of a metaphor for our life. You see Hubby and I are a textbook example of the cliche "Opposites Attract." 
  • He is about speed and daring (to quote a line from one of his favorite movies Top Gun - "You're not gonna be happy until you're going mach 2 with your hair on fire." or "I feel the need, the need for speed.") Airplanes, jet skis, boats, motorcycles, roller coasters, you name it, he loves it.
  • I don't like motorcycles (thankfully his was gone before I came along), and am deathly afraid of roller coasters,or anything that makes me feel out of control. I'm still getting over the time he accidentally got me to go on Test Track at Epcot. 
  • I love the lake and ocean but, since I can't see the bottom of either of them, I'm not going in, plain and simple. I learned to swim in a beautiful lake in the Adirondacks, (Sylvia Lake for all my childhood friends) back before an active imagination developed into something that can only imagine the worst. Hubby on the other hand could possibly be part fish. Lake, pond, ocean, pool; not picky. 
  • When it comes to the love of his life, flying  (2nd love - I hope) I do very well as the co-pilot, as long as you don't need me to have my eyes open on take off......or landing. 
  • When it comes to the social aspect of things he gives new meaning to "social butterfly." He can make friends with anyone.....ordering a pizza, bank teller, Dell customer service rep, the list goes on. I get hives at the thought of calling to schedule a doctor's appointment. Once, 2 hours from home, at a rest stop on the NY State thruway - he ran into 5 people that he knew.....5! When we have game night with our friends, he revels in making everyone laugh until they are crying. I am more than willing to be his audience. 
  • I love going to the movies and reading. He'll read anything....that involves an airplane. Going to the movies is a reason to make him sit still....not good. He is still recovering from me black mailing him into going to see Black Swan with me. Hey, it was my birthday and I needed revenge for the Test Track of Terror.
  • He loves cereal, I hate it. He's a morning matter the hour. Try talking to me before 8am and see how far you get......

         Honestly, there are probably more things we do not have in common than the things we do. You're probably thinking "Wow, how are they still together?" Honestly? Right now, (6 years and 10 months into it) we're about as happy as we can get. (Ask me again in 10......crossing my fingers and saying my prayers that I have the same answer for you.) 
         All seriousness aside......for all of our major differences in hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc; we have never tried to change one another. We accept each other for who they are and we support the things that matter to each other. When we were first married, Hubby wanted to go back to school to get his license to become a flight instructor. I said "Go for it," and supported both of us financially while he did it. Recently, when I got more serious about writing and told him about a writing conference I wanted to attend for the weekend in another state, he said "I don't care how much it is, sign up and do it." When I wanted to expand my photography hobby and expressed interest in a new, more advanced camera, it appeared as a birthday present. When he has a rare day off and wants to go flying or hang out at the airport with his friends, I tell him to go and to have fun. I know that if he's happy, I'll be happy and vice versa. 
        We also don't push each other to be something we're not. Not once since we met has he ever said to me "I wish you would get in the lake with me rather than sit on the dock reading." Likewise, I have never said "Just once will you please sit and hang out with me?" Now, don't think that we don't do anything together, because we do spend a lot of time together and we get along great when we do. We just enjoy the time we have apart from each other because we know the other will be waiting for us and we know we'll have something new to share with each other when we do.
        We're each others biggest supporters and champions. I was the first to cheer when he got that instructor's license and if (when I hope) I publish a book I'll know he'll buy the first copy......
        We see eye to eye on the important things - trust, our love of family and friends (and our pets!), faith and an insane sense of humor.

Now.....who says opposites don't attract??? 

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
- Agnes Repplier


  1. Love it - always so refreshing ;)

  2. @ Kristin - Thanks! I like showing that people who are different than us can make help make us better :)

  3. Alright, I'm on board with you two being opposites in a lot of ways. But, then again, your hubby is quite opposite from just about everyone. :)

    Here's the part you left out- you guys are two of the most wonderful people I've ever known, you're both caring, compassionate, and giving. You're those friends that everyone knows they can call for anything. You support your family and friends and you let us share in your accomplishments too.

    So, maybe you're not completely opposite, but you are perfect for each other. Awww . . .

    Whoever set you up must be a genius. ;)

  4. @ Apple - That's probably the nicest thing anyone could ever say....Thank God I can say you're a real person or people will think Hubby and I are creating fake ID's to comment on here. :)

    And the person who set us up - pure genius...but you shouldn't tell her because it would only go to her head. :) :)

  5. The Two of us said:
    Love your latest and yes you two do make a good match and yes "opposites do attract" is true. The funny thing is that some where down the road you two will begin thinking alike and will share more things together than you think you have in common.
    And "oh yes" APPLE you should never "blow your own horn, because it really sounds good to hear it from others,"Genius" WOW! that is a bit much even tho that pairing turned out "Great"
    Would love to see that jet ski ride "Hanging on for dear life" DO LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU !

  6. I love this Adrienne!...and, again, Welcome to my world!. With one exception...John does try to get me to do the things he likes to do...even if they make me squirm...I love him anyway. Sue Ryan

  7. I learned pretty early on that having separate interests creates more interest in the relationship. If you do everything together you'll burn out, so I think you're onto something.

  8. @ Anonymous - I'm pretty sure I will never learn to love roller coasters and I'm positive Hubby will never like sitting still to watch a movie :) But again it's okay because we see eye to eye on the important things in life and it works remarkably well for us...And I have to say since Apple introduced us then I have to say she is a genius :)

    Love you both!
    PS - I'm afraid that I will have to penalize you for overuse of ""'s in your comments! :) :)

  9. @ Sue - I will never forget the day he went by the window on that little dirt bike and you said "welcome to my world...." But if I remember right your hubby was supposed to call my hubby when he wanted to try out the daredevil things so you you didn't need to be involved...what happened??

  10. @ Barbara - I absolutely agree about the burn out. When we both pursue some of our own interests we come back together with a excitement because we want tell the other person all about it. We balance each other too....he orders the pizza when we're hungry and I take the pictures of all the fun things we see all works out!

  11. Alright, perhaps genius might have been a little over the top. Maybe simply in the right place at the right time. :)

  12. @ Apple - Nope, I'm sticking with genius.... :)

  13. This is SO and I & you husband and mine seem to be a carbon copy of one another. I could list all the ways, but you already did...right down to the cereal he loves and being a morning person...and me NOT so much for both of the latter... And "see how far you get" is actually something I said to my own mother when she told me the hour I had to be awake for Christmas "morning" (it was more like Christmas dawn!). Love the post! Keep them coming! And congrats on your SITS day! =)

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  15. @ Foodnatic - Uh oh, do you have a thrill demon on your hands too? :) Can't believe you could be so different and yet it works huh? I wish I was more of a morning person but probably not happening. Thanks so much for stopping by....come by tomorrow for my post on potato chips - I'll be curious to hear your thoughts.....I'll check out your page too!

    PS Thanks for the congrats but I didn't have a SITS day yet...unless I missed it and no one told me?? LOL

  16. Beautiful entry. I love that you don't try to change each other, and support each other's individuality. I saw a lot of friends lose themselves in a marriage. I think in any relationship, while there is compromise etc, you still have to be true to yourself and have a partner who allows you to be so. Looking forward to your 10 years of wedded bliss. This reminded me of my own jet ski adventure - at least your hubs dropped you off before he pushed it. Picture me - deathly afraid of open water, on the back of this thing, with the man refusing to heed my calls to slow down, and me screaming for half hour and screaming so loudly that the entire beach heard me. I was a laughing stock. lol.

  17. Great reading! You are the perfect pair! Love you both!

  18. @ Trininista - I have seen the same thing in many relationships; the person used to have their own thoughts and interests and slowly it becomes all one sided. You can't be true to yourself if you let that happen.

    As for your jet ski adventure - sweetie I hope you gave that boy a tongue lashing that he will never forget. Hubs knows that the very idea of me falling into open water could result in loss of limb.....for him....I'm kind of kidding. Mmmmm...not not really. :) :)

  19. @ Jackie - Aww thanks! We love you too!

  20. Tell genius there's a silly 49 year old that might benefit from her matchmaking skills. If she has connections in the senior citizen market that is....

  21. @ Jotter - You know I think I was the first and last set up for Genius...she went to HS with him and they met up at their reunion. I had just moved back to the area about 3 months before that. I think she's afraid of ruining a perfect record....but ummm I don't know anyone who is a senior citizen - just an awesome 49 year old! :)