Tuesday, November 8, 2011

You Have Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself........

I have a fear.....a rather strange one I suppose, but it's a fear none the less. I fear traveling by myself. Anything that involves me, a suitcase and going somewhere outside my neighborhood, can invoke some tremors. Even a road trip can make my heart race a little bit. So let's just say that me walking into the airport Friday afternoon to fly off to NYC, was slightly terrifying. 

I can't explain why I have this fear. If I could, I probably could find a way to limit or change it, but I have no explanation for it. I know it sounds crazy, believe me - I went to college for travel and tourism. I know how INSANE this fear is. Give me one other person to travel with (doesn't even have to be someone I know that well), and I will be completely fine for the trip, any trip, anywhere.....tell me I have to go it alone and I'll be breathing into a paper bag somewhere.
The reason for the trip was a very good one. A really good friend lives there and asked me to come visit, for about the 10th time. (I'm so sorry Amy for being such a scaredy cat!) I've always admired people who can fly off somewhere at a moment's notice to exotic places. One small bag, a passport and an adventurous spirit are all they need. (Yes Amy, I'm also talking about you.) So eventually, I said yes to her invite and I made my travel plans....and I sweated it out for a month. 

What if I miss my flight? What if the cab driver drops me off in the wrong place? What if the flight home is cancelled and I'm stranded at the airport....What if the flight has turbulence and no one is there to hold my hand??? Yes, again, I hear the insanity in what I was thinking, but I thought it anyway and probably much worse. So when the day came for the trip I was exhausted from all of my worrying but still worried all the way to the airport....all the way onto the plane.....through the cab ride (does he really know where he's taking me????) until I found myself at her door and thought......"Well that wasn't so bad."

The rest of the weekend was amazing. Perfect weather (Central Park!), great food, fun times and catching up with a wonderful friend. But my fear had almost won out over all of that. Was I immediately cured of my fear? Hell no! On the cab ride back to the airport the driver commented I may not make my flight home due to all the closed streets from the NYC marathon and his difficulty in finding a way to LaGuardia. I immediately thought "Crap! He is going to drop me off on a street corner in the middle of no where! Thankfully my worrying had paid off in the fact that I left for the airport 3 hours early. (Sometimes it comes in handy.)

But in the end I did face up to a fear (however irrational it may have been) and I am better for it. Guess I should start looking at my list of other fears....(Bungee jumping??.........I don't think so.)

What fears are holding you back from something amazing?



  1. I don't think that's an unusual fear for women. I'm glad you faced it. The more you face a fear the sooner it's disappears.
    Good for you!

  2. I know what you mean about fear. I'm trying to overcome my fear of elevators; always had to have someone with me whenever I have to get in the elevators. Just met a woman the other day and she asked me If I would ride in the elevator with her-we both laughed because neither one of was brave enough to go together so we took the stairs instead. Made me feel better to know that I'm not the only one. There are many people who are afraid to fly so don't feel bad.

  3. People think I am fearless cause I just go...alone, no care in the world. I am not fearless. Boredom is often the overriding emotion. lol. Sorry I have been so scarce...been going through tons of feelings, thoughts etc. Hope all is well.

  4. @ Barbara -

    Maybe subconsciously my fear was based around being a woman on my own....whatever it was hopefully it's at least eased somewhat. :)

  5. @ Anonymous -

    I'm actually not afraid to fly (unless there is turbulence!). I'm married to a pilot so not really allowed. LOL It's more the idea of going anywhere away from home on my own, but as I said I'm working on it. Thanks for sharing your story....glad you found a friend who understood. :)

  6. @ Trinista -

    Do not apologize! I actually got way behind in posting anything (maybe the fear of the trip paralyzed my brain??)

    Anyway....I hope that things are okay for you as well....I'll be stopping back in to say hello :)